Jasper’s story: stillness within the storm

Jasper’s story: stillness within the storm

Jasper is a full-time unpaid carer for both of his parents, each of whom has significant and complex health needs. His father, who has suffered a stroke also lives with scoliosis and arthritis in his spine, severely affecting his mobility and balance. His mother is very frail, with hearing difficulties and other health conditions that make everyday tasks increasingly challenging. Both parents rely heavily on Jasper for daily living support, from preparing meals to assisting with personal care. Jasper is often awake during the night, providing care when it’s needed most. Caring can be relentless. There are no breaks, no days off, and rarely even a few minutes to himself.

“It is difficult to describe what it is like to do what I am currently doing. Even harder for someone else to imagine or visualise. Take a moment to imagine that you work seven days a week, that work never stops, that you can never switch off, that you haven’t had a day off in months. Now imagine for every moment of every day you are fully occupied, not even five minutes to yourself…”

The constant demands of caring have taken a toll. Jasper has experienced increasing stress, physical strain, and a growing sense of isolation. His own health and wellbeing have begun to suffer under the weight of his responsibilities. Although support has been limited, Jasper does receive regular weekly calls from his local carers' centre. These calls have become an important source of connection - something he looks forward to, even during the most difficult weeks.

During a conversation about short breaks, Jasper initially felt that stepping away from his caring role would be impossible. The thought of leaving his parents even briefly was overwhelming. However, with encouragement and practical support arrangements put in place, he began to consider a different possibility.

Jasper expressed interest in attending a weekend residential Tai Chi course, set in a peaceful, natural environment. It was something new just for him and something he hoped could help him manage stress and improve both his physical and emotional wellbeing. With the support of a Time to Live microgrant, Jasper was able to attend.

The impact was profound. For the first time in a long while, Jasper stepped away from constant responsibility and found space to breathe, connect, and focus on himself. He gained new skills, met others, and experienced a sense of calm that had been missing from his life.

“Without the Time to Live grant and the extra support in place at home, I would not have taken this step. I had the courage to try something new, and I had confidence that my parents were okay. I met some lovely people they said ‘see you next year,’ and I really hope that I can do this again.”

Jasper’s story highlights just how vital support like a Time to Live grant can be for carers facing relentless demands. By making space for a short break, he was able to restore a sense of balance, reconnect with himself, and gain tools to manage the pressures of daily life.

Find out more about Time to Live here.